Here’s What My Relationship of 1 week, Taught Me About Myself
How short was your shortest relationship, and why? Mine was only a week old, and for someone with the tendencies of being a hopeless romantic, that was surprising. But I guess, after about 2 heartbreaks, logic sets in, and love goes beyond just feelings.
Love versus Expressions of love
I grew up sneaking to watch soap operas, falling in love with their handsome male acts, and arguing about their love triangles(a hill I was willing to die on. LOL!). I was also a happy addict of harlequin and Mills & Boon, books. So I wasn’t missing out on any love bug.
I love LOVE, but it’s simply that I’ve outgrown the ‘butterflies-in-my-tummy’ phase. I prefer that whatever love, whether platonic or intimate, be more expressed as an action, and not just as a word.
How we met
We met at a mutual friend’s event, and I had noticed he was quite handsome and calm. I also observed how he related with others and was impressed. I would later find out that he had also noticed me, was checking me out and had even done a bit of background check on me. He reached out soon after and we became occasional chat buddies, the flow was so organic, and it was obvious there was a bit of connection there. Seeing again few weeks later, affirmed this.
He made it clear very quickly, that he wanted to be more than friends(who doesn’t love a confident man), though I still wanted to keep us in the talking stage for a bit longer, he seemed really sure, and so it began. We even shared our first kiss.
Naturally, the following days should be filled with intentional communication, planning dates, and you know, doing stuffs that people in new relationships do. But this time, I felt there was some disconnect. It felt off, too soon.
It’s like these little red flags were waving at me, and I could either choose to ignore and act fine, or go with my gut instincts to move on. I chose the later.
Now that I think about it, I realise that what was missing was the communication part, and because this is such a major part of my love languages, nothing else felt right. So yes, I panicked and ran off(nothing beats self honesty right?)
Walking away surprisingly hurt more than I had imagined, but I also think it’s selfcare. You know at that point, I chose my peace of mind and mental health, over the uncertainties of a new relationship.
“We looked good together and it felt good too. But sometimes, 2 good people can be wrong for each other.”
I learnt that having self-awareness, can help you know clearly how you want to be loved by others.
I learnt that knowing your partner’s love language, and honouring how they want to be loved is an act of love itself.
I learnt to be more patient in dealing with others.
I also learnt that I’m now a logical, hopeless romantic. Lol!
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